earlier this Good Morgan, the power grid went out on me unexpectedly at 1:15 a.m. while this One was plugging away during my usual overnight Net routine...
okay, so now everything electronic is kaput -- INCLUDING the computer, get it?
so i grab the land line-telephone (the only thing what works in such times as these) attempting to call my local power company but wait a minute, dummy! as this One has been a good trooper by gradually transferring all his personal business on-line and going to paperless transactions, like hey, bud, what's the number to call in the power outage, huh? consider, thus, as part of allowing my Self to go completely paperless -- it's ALL IN THE COMPUTER'S MEMORY BANKS, right? -- i had long ago tossed out those huge, clunking, printed phone books (this One averaged getting 6-7 of them every year) in order to conserve precious living space hereabouts and complete the paperless lifestyle.
and so, returning to the situation at hand, with no paper bills, records, receipts, and/or other printed references, there was simply NO way to determine the power company's phone number, yeeeech! i finally remembered having 411 directory assistance available on the home telephone, so i called, got the number and dialed up "S.M.U.D." (the weird acronym for our electric provider) and then went through their automated {i.e., after business hours} ding-dong
service menu until i could at last report the outage incident... but, wait a minute again, dummy!! now "IT" (the n0n-human service automatia) wants my ACCOUNT number -- which, of course i have never memorized (like, WHO THE HECK DOES?!) because, of course, that information is locked up in my dead-as-a doornail computer... oh, hot ratz!!!
after fumbling around the alternatives on the power company's automated telephone answering service, the retched thing finally allows me to enter my cell phone number in order to further determine my validity as a SMUD customer, pheeew! after an indeterminable delay, that IN-HUMANE system then gave me the go-ahead for entering the particulars about the power outage i was vainly trying to report in the first place, whoa is me...
so, my report is accepted and this One is informed the electric grid in my area was "off-line" (geeze, thanks for telling me that information while i am sitting here in the dark with a flashlight to tide me by) affecting 1400-plus homes and businesses, and the electricity was "scheduled to be restored" by 4:00 a.m. later this morgan... like, huh, is the power company now SCHEDULING power outages without first informing their customers -- many of whom urgently depend upon un-interrupted electric service for their well-being (this One needs to run the air-conditioner regularly for breathing purposes)???
ah vell, whatever! the good side of all this malarkey was that my electric power was turned back on just over one hour later, and hence, my stuffy old life could return to situation normal.
the moral of this story is that, with all the electronic media in our modern society, it all becomes a pile of junk without the electricity to run it all...
THINK ABOUT IT, fringees, THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE!
Disrespectfully yours,
Old Man Eloquent.
